During the publishing process of The Acceptance Guidebook, I came to learn a lot of things about me. Granted, the book is a reflection of 6 years worth of growth. Yet, in the 2 years that it has taken to publish it, even now, the book is a part of my past. It doesn’t mean that what lies within it is any less applicable but, rather, it indicates that I can see myself now with a little more clarity than I could then. Life is a never-ending growth process.
In all of my past years of searching and finding, there were still subconscious patterns; parts of me that were looking for self-validation. As a mind looking inward upon itself, you can imagine the kind of rabbit hole that might create. For example, I could “dig, dig, dig,” but not necessarily get closer to what real acceptance really is.
Short vs. Long Term
Placeholders to acceptance seem to be what we think we need to do in order to gain “higher ground” with ourselves. In our short-term growth, we aim to teach ourselves something so that we can practice learning it for ourselves in a way that is comfortable for us. Yet, long-term growth doesn’t always happen over a weekend-long seminar. It happens over years of reflection, over years of experience that culminates in which we see for ourselves the long standing patterns of our personal human condition entering into our awareness. In our personal vigilance, we get to watch our neuroses slowly become uprooted, not because of anything we did, per se, but because of what we’ve been able to observe and accept about ourselves over time and through experience.
It’s all “In-House”
Some of the most challenging parts about the pursuit of “spiritual growth” are that the parts that we wish to overcome or discover are always inherent within us. What is inherent within us we seek outside of us with a story. We can live a lifelong pursuit, and yet never see a particular desired result because what we wanted to leave behind, we unknowingly took with us; and what we wanted to be, we already were.
Do you see how “acceptance” is an utter key to growth? All of the rest is just repetitive details.
We play games with ourselves. I’ve played a grand game with myself. It hasn’t been a bad thing it’s just been my story. To me, my best meant figuring everything out that I felt was necessary. With enough understanding, I thought, I would gain the keys to the kingdom when I already had them. Why did I keep trying to prove to myself what was already established within me?
A Major Game Changer
It can take years to become a mental expert at any subject of our choosing, and even longer to extract that identity from within us once we’ve believed that the identity was who we were. When we are ready, it need take only an instant to undo years upon years of self-imposed agendas with simple acceptance. We see this all of the time when a movie hero undergoes a major transformation like when Darth Vadar became “good” at the end of Return of the Jedi. There was something that he finally accepted about himself, which undoubtedly led him back to love and unification, melting away a lifetime of pain and resistance – enough to change what would have been his future.
I’ve always felt it funny just how much the ego keeps love from me, and how I’ve told myself that I am empowered countless times, hoping that the words would stick. Sometimes they have, for a while. But we each must discover what acceptance means for us on our own, and when we feel it, we feel rest and at peace. The deeper the acceptance, the more transformed our life becomes. After all, every action is based upon what we believe about ourselves, and what we accept about ourselves. Any inkling of change in self-acceptance can be a major game changer.
A lifetime of work can forever change in a blink of an eye based on one simple yet profound experience of self-acceptance, and the road never ends. It only becomes more glorious and graceful. The Acceptance Guidebook aims to help you shorten your time on the road to self-acceptance.